Carrot, Egg and Coffee

CARROT, EGG OR COFFEE......?

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how
things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it
and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed
as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water
and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she
placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed
ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the
carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed
them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She
did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to
take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard
boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The
daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same
adversity - boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after
being sub! jected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its
liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside
became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the
boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on
your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but
with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the
heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial
hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my
shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff
spirit and hardened hear! t?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot
water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot,
it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things
are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you
elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a
carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to
make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you
happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The
brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go
forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was
smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and
everyone around you is crying.

You might want to send this message to those people who mean
something to you ; to those who have touched your life in one
way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to
those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down;
to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in
your life. If you don't send it, you will just miss out on the opportunity
to brighten someone's day with this message!

It's easier to build a child than repair an adult .

This is so true - may we all be COFFEE

My Life And Thoughts

I haven't seen my family since before the 4th of July. I was suppose to visit them on the holiday but choose not too. My family is... Stressful. And with my blood pressure out of control I feared what I would do to them... Or what they would do to me. So I opted to stay with my dad and take the day easy.

In a way I feel bad... But I feel more relieved that I didn't go.

I feel bad for my uncle David, whose wish was to be surrounded by his family during his struggle for liver cancer. I see him all the time but I don't see his twin brother or my cousins. Even my older brother was there. But I was not.

In a way, I don't feel the need to see my Uncle David struggle with his cancer. I actually feel the need to stay away. I love the man very much. And I can hear people tell me that if you love him then visit him, show him that you love him. But I don't want to remember such a vibrant man in such a manner.

I also can't help but feel that my feelings are some what tainted by what he did to my mother during her last days. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer... Then diagnosed terminal. David never visited her. He didn't even go to the funeral. I don't hold hard feelings against him for that. I'm actually finding common ground with him. I don't want to see him die... Slowly. I want to see him alive and well. I want to remember him that way.

Yet, this has nothing to do with my undesire to visit him on the 4th. That actually had to do with my other Uncle, Fred who brought his wife, a woman who hates my mother. As I mentioned above my brother was there too, as sour as he could be. Then there were my cousins, Pete and his wife and kids and also Judy, with her oldest daughter.

Uncle Fred and Joyce are a class act. I don't love nor do I hate my uncle. I stand on neutral ground with him. I feel that I have many harsh feelings concerning him but because he is my uncle I feel a connection to him that involves love. But I can take or leave the man. He loves a woman, and to this is his downfall with me, that hates my mother and was always stirring up contention with my family. I remember once after my mother had passed away, I was walking with her talking to her about David. She told me that David had approached Fred telling "now that Dorothy is dead we should get together for breakfast." Looking at the comment now I can see my uncle saying this, trying to keep close ties with his brother. But when Joyce told me this she made it sound as if David was glad that my mother was dead. She added comments to confirm that feeling I first had when I was told. It hurt so badly that David would say such a thing, I choose to stay away from the man for sometime. This is what Joyce wanted. Now, much wiser I see that...

I stay clear of the two and am thankful that they don't even live on the same coast as I do. :)

Then there was Howard, my older brother. The first thing he said to me when I saw him on July 2nd was "Don't you know how to answer your phone?"

Well hello, good to see you too! Asshole.

I explained to him that I don't get service up in the mountains and that was the end of our conversation. I never talked to him again. I didn't want to.

Last time I spoke to Pete and Ericka (his wife) they were very angry with me and no matter how I explained the issue it never relieved his anger for what happen. I had to step back from that realizing that the situation wouldn't get any better.

So my family is filled with hate and spite. My uncle David and his family aren't. And I should have gone to see him on his birthday but I couldn't bring myself to face the rest of the family. I need the rest... The lack of tension... I need to take care of myself first. No one is going to help me but me. And if I'm not around then my kids have no one.

That bothers me greatly.