The Deal With Cleaning My House

You wouldn't think this should be such a big issue... but it is.

I was sitting here the day after cleaning my house with my cousins help taking a break from finishing up what wasn't done the day before. Folding clothes, putting them away, etc... etc... etc... The phone rings. It was Aaron out at his grandma's house wanting to say 'hi mom, I miss you.' I hear Adam in the background playing and after a few minutes talking with Aaron I ask to speak to his dad. "He's outside with grandma talking." Aaron tells me. Now I'm concern. Two adults are outside talking while my baby is inside playing. Of course I wasn't too freaked out over the situation I could hear Adam and he was alright so I kept Aaron on the phone for a good 10 to 15 minutes talking about different things. I ended the coversation a little annoyed that my husband and his mother were both outside. My thoughts were... I need to remind Barry to not leave Adam unattended like that again. It could prove to be dangerous.

Several hours passed since the phone conversation with Aaron happend and I was starting to get hungry. It was getting late and almost time for dinner so wondered if Barry was on his way home or not. I called over there and Adam was still asleep and they would be leaving in the next 30 minutes regardless, and he would pick up dinner. I could wait for a few hours more, catching a light snack to eat. No big deal. But then I spoke my peace about Adam being left behind inside with Aaron and told Barry that wasn't very wise of him.
"I was only outside for a minute." ~ He lied to me. :|
"I was on the phone with Aaron for at least 10 or more minutes."
"No I wasn't... and you talked to Aaron?" ~ okay something is up... have to ask.
"What were you and your mom talking about?"
"Nothing. She just wanted to know why you paid (my cousin) $100 for working for you yesterday."
"I didn't pay (my cousin) $100." I'm slightly annoyed. Why is this being brought up?
"How much did you pay her?"
"I paid her $50 for getting on her hands and knees with me and srubbing my kitchen floors and doing all the dusting in the house and cleaning the walls. She spent over 5 hours here helping me and she knows she has to come back on Tuesday to finish the other things." I explained to him, adding, "It was the money I saved up to buy clothes, it didn't come from the household budget." I can't believe I'm defending my actions.
"I'll let my mom know that then." :| What? What? We have to explain my actions to her?
"Excuse me?" I'm irritated now. "Why does your mother care what I do or who I pay to have help me?"
"Well, it's Ariel. She complained that you gave (my cousin) $100 to help you clean the house and you didn't buy her any clothes since she's been out there"
Okay this is about insane...
"I just talked to Ariel yesteday about a website in which I can order boots for her from. She never gave me the website so I could order them for her." Again, I'm defending myself... why do I keep doing this? "How is it your mother knows about what I gave (my cousin)yesterday?"
"Oh Pam said something this afternoon about it and they want to know your not helping out with clothing Ariel but can give money to (my cousin)" More than slightly annoyed now... "I'll go down and talk to mom about this."
"You need to let Pam know too and get this problem cleared up." I'm truly annoyed now...

I call Beth to update her with what just happened. I'm slightly irritated and need to get it off my chest. And since we are both on the same page it was easy for her to see why I was annoyed. Here's the basic problem:
Ariel and (my cousin) talk... Ariel gets upset with me and jealous that I'm giving money to (my cousin) and not her. Irritated the child turns to Pam and starts to complain. In which, Pam turns around and complains to her mother (my mother in law) who in turns complains to Barry... who questions me.
Okay... lets face some facts.
1. I'm the only legal guardian of Ariels. No one has any rights to her at all, but me. I am the only person responsible for her and her actions and I am the only one responsible legally to cloth, feed and take care of her.
2. We've asked Pam to come to us with any concerns, or needs for Ariel and not go through the mother in law for those requests.
3. Ariel is back to her old games, 'if I don't get my way, I'll talk enough trash to convince people that I'm the victim so I can get my way'.
4. My husband has no backbone when it comes to dealing with his family. He would try to pacify everyone.

So... in conclusion Beth and I decided that I need to call Pam and set the record straight. That she and I need to talk about Ariel, and not go through anyone else. But first things are first... I needed to know what Barry said to Pam.

Now this is classic... I call and get Aaron, who is out in the car with his baby brother.
"Where's dad?"
"In the house on the phone with grandmother." :|
My kids are alone again?
After 5 minutes or so I finally get to talk to Barry. I ask what he said to Pam.
"Nothing, I didn't talk to her. I talked to Ariel and explained to her that you didn't pay (my cousin) $100 it was only $50 and that I needed the website so we could send her some boots."
WHAT THE HELL???
I'm so annoyed now... I ony chatted for a second with him then called Pam immediately.
Ariel answered the phone.
Now I'm upset... these are kid games I'm dealing with and I need to knock a few heads together... lets start with the issue at hand.
This is the moment that I tell Ariel that if she has a problem to take it up with me, not anyone else but me.
"But I don't want to yell at you mom."
"That's what kids do." I explained to her. "I expect it and when you do I will deal with the situation your giving me. But don't go behind my back and demand stuff. If you want something ask me for it."
Okay... she's straighten out.
"Let me talk to Pam."
I'm upset, I raised my voice slightly with Ariel, but I didn't yell. I was firm and yet you could hear the anger in my voice. My hands were shaking I'm so upset.
I start talking to Pam were I state something to this affect:
"Pam... I am the only legal guardian for Ariel and therefore the only person responsible for her. If you need something for her, have an issue with her, or need to talk to another adult about her, you need to call me and not go through Pat (the mother in law) and Barry. We need to talk directly about Ariel's needs and not go through other people."
I don't remember exactly what she said after that, but I do remember that she asked me what my issue was... I said "Well for starters I don't think Ariel should be out there, she should be home with her family who love her."
"You love her so much that's why you've only called her twice since she's been out here?"
"In one day maybe. I called Ariel several times a week..."
"Ammm... NO... you've only called her twice and her father hasn't called her at all." That was so untrue, but I knew that she was gathering her information from Ariel.
I chuckled. This was high school stuff. I have no time for it.
"I want my daughter back home."
"Then you come and get her." She hung up on me.
Now I never mentioned how rude and snippy she was with me. Her voice was condensending and she was on the offensive side. I'm more than angry now... and mixed feelings start to stir.
I immediatly call Barry and voice my 'loving' thoughts about his sister and then hung up. Then I start to rant... and rave... and yell... and vent...and cry... but that's another blog entry.