tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139367702011-12-14T19:10:57.310-08:00Alianoreply@blogger.comBlogger431100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1156389240059375242006-08-23T19:36:00.000-07:002006-08-23T20:14:00.103-07:00

I have learned through the years to value my dreams for they speak loudly to me when I listen. Often times its trying to figure out what is being said that makes it fun. Well... last night I dreamt of him. I hadn't dreamt of my exhusband once since before we seperated so I wondered why I would dream of 'him'. 'Him' being my dad. This week was full... and I have learned that abuse for me is long

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1153498652431013312006-07-21T09:17:00.000-07:002006-07-21T09:17:32.460-07:00

CARROT, EGG OR COFFEE......? A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1153013230826280972006-07-15T18:03:00.000-07:002006-07-15T18:27:41.263-07:00

I haven't seen my family since before the 4th of July. I was suppose to visit them on the holiday but choose not too. My family is... Stressful. And with my blood pressure out of control I feared what I would do to them... Or what they would do to me. So I opted to stay with my dad and take the day easy.In a way I feel bad... But I feel more relieved that I didn't go.I feel bad for my uncle David

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1151940849159850692006-06-30T08:32:00.000-07:002006-07-03T08:34:09.176-07:00

To continue with my drama in my life I filed my divorce papers Tuesday of this last week. You know, it felt good! I was very happy. I'm getting closer to shutting the door on a tragedy and it feels good. The abyss is having some light (sort of speaking).Well today was the day my soon to be ex was served. I figured it would take him 30 minutes to read through the papers, comprehend and then call

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1151941583439546392006-06-29T08:45:00.000-07:002006-07-03T08:46:23.443-07:00

Sometimes I recieve emails that are very heart touching and bring joy to my heart. This was one of them...Babs Miller was bagging some early potatoes for me. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas.I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1151940918494396462006-06-29T08:34:00.000-07:002006-07-03T08:35:18.496-07:00

I often tell my daughter about the redneck stories of my life. She thought I was joking until my family showed up this last week at my dad's house. They pitched up 3 tents and air up the air mattresses (they have become sophisticated over the years, no more sleeping on the ground) and filled their ice chests for an extended camping trip. Well... none of that seems weird to me. I grew up with them

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1151941006971134972006-06-19T08:35:00.000-07:002006-07-03T08:36:46.973-07:00

It does the soul good!I'm feeling much better today. After a full day's work, talking with people with the same IQ and not being harassed by an idiot I feel like I'm back to my old self. Happy-go-lucky-Ms. Cheerful-in-the-morning-type. Seriously, I am.I get in funks every once in awhile and as I look back over why (Mainly because I hate funks. I want to enjoy life and live happy) I see what my

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1151941294622064052006-06-17T08:37:00.000-07:002006-07-03T08:41:34.626-07:00

At the end of my 12 year marriage my husband marked me to the our small community with the scarlet letter. He encouraged and supported my children to do the same thing. After many months of talking about it with neighbors and treating as if I was a criminal I discovered what was the driving force behind his cruelity to me. He thought I was a whore. I had never looked at another man, especially

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1151941344675747802006-06-10T08:41:00.000-07:002006-07-03T08:42:24.676-07:00

I recieved this email from a coworker and I thought I would share it with all of you. The author is unknown.John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"He was a natural motivator.If an employee was having a bad day, John was

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1151941532681783652006-06-04T08:42:00.000-07:002006-07-03T08:45:32.683-07:00

I'm sorry to do this to all of you but the woes of my life have made me extremely stressed out lately and I've been very angry. Every little thing has set me off, from bad slow stupid drivers to sitting is this hard chair wondering when I can take a nap (I can't because I have to clean my house). When I look at my life I just shake my head. No wonder why I'm stressed out. 1) My house closes

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1148962581731057282006-05-29T21:16:00.000-07:002006-05-29T21:16:21.746-07:00

One Thanksgiving holiday when I had just moved out of the house I was asked to make pies and bring them for the Thanksgiving feast. Well, I lived some 30 minutes from home and I was poor. I had a car but nothing to carry those pies in without them slipping and sliding all over the front seat. I didn't want to mess up the pies so I thought. I tried to think of a way to keep those pies from

Alianoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1148441990179988112006-05-23T20:39:00.000-07:002006-05-23T20:39:50.193-07:00

I did it!Continuing on with my car saga, I have done it! I found a car, within reason, with only $1000 down (Oh... the car payments are higher than I want though), and it's a 2005. It shouldn't break down in the next year... OR SO!!!!With all the issues that have been going on with the cars I feel it has totally consumed my life! Well it has! So much so that the first place who denied me (because

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1147407088168634582006-05-11T20:56:00.000-07:002006-06-25T08:01:12.280-07:00

It has happened... The other day the IT guy came into our office to fix and maintain our computers. Nice guy but a bit of nerd. I mention to him that my ex had called me a nerd. Much to my surprise I had never thought of myself as one. Well... explained the 'ex' you love math, I wear glasses (actually contacts), I love to read, especially Scifi and fantasy stories... and the list goes on and on

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1146536902556883722006-05-01T19:26:00.000-07:002006-05-01T19:28:22.573-07:00

Driving home today with Ariel from the store. I started to complain about Barry not taking stuff from the garage that was his. It's trash but I don't want to deal with it and it does belong to him. After my complaint I said "He needs to find a girlfriend." Ariel said, "You need to find a boyfriend.":|The child who thinks I'm evil for talking to another man wants me to live with someone so we can

Alianoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1146462343332556032006-04-30T21:40:00.000-07:002006-05-01T19:54:33.426-07:00

I've had a few days to think about this and come to the conclusion that the spirit is what is taking care of me. I was talking to one of the ladies at work about the situation between Ariel and Barry. One of the things that has always bother me about the end of my marriage is the relationship between my husband and daughter. It was more like they were dating, like when Barry and I were dating

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1145937975763820592006-04-24T21:04:00.000-07:002006-04-24T21:06:15.766-07:00

I had come to the conclusion that my marriage was long over way before I knew it. It was late last year when I realized it and now I'm moving on. I have a new job, new set of friends, and will be moving in the next few months. My life is now changing into something I enjoy living once again. There always seems to be a monkey wrench thrown into the mix of things to make me stumble.What could it be

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1145937819099792822006-04-24T20:57:00.000-07:002006-04-24T21:03:39.100-07:00

Recently, a friend told me I was almost there. And I replied, "But I can't see it. How long do you think I have, years?"He replied, "No, it's just a matter of months now." "I don't see that at all. I don't see it being just months away but rather a good year."And here I am today, to tell him he is right. It is just now months away before my life might starts to settling down. I have been on one

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1145937414301125702006-04-24T20:48:00.000-07:002006-04-24T20:56:54.303-07:00

I have discovered the dark feelings of the abyss, which have toyed in my life lately. Well for the last few weeks. It hit me rather hard yesterday when the ex announced that we would never get back together. Even though it’s a sigh of relief for me, I still can’t help but feel that hint of rejection. In reflection of the ten-year marriage, I can see that the marriage ended years prior and it was

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1145936909154313022006-04-24T20:46:00.000-07:002006-04-24T20:48:29.166-07:00

I've been living on my own, away from "him" for a good month now. I had intentions of leaving prior to that, but things didn't work out the way I wanted. It's nice living without the stress, and I have good friends who have noted that I look back to my normal carefree self. I knew I was depressed before, a feeling I have never wanted to experience in my life, so it was time for action. But to

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1131161871678521382005-11-04T14:03:00.000-08:002005-11-04T19:37:51.726-08:00

Go ahead and take a guess at who is back... If you said Ariel, you would only be partical right. She is back. But she isn't the only one. It's me too. Had a friend of mine tell me that I look good, I look happy and I look back to normal. I do, I am and I more focused than ever.

Alianoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1130219994844841032005-10-24T22:52:00.000-07:002005-10-31T14:43:07.673-08:00

If I say it long enough, it'll be true... so I hope.

Alianoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1130109414300914072005-10-23T16:03:00.000-07:002005-10-23T16:16:54.316-07:00

I was talking to a friend the other day about marriage. She told me that she wanted to be married. She didn't need it, but wanted it. Now she is the kind of gal who will not say the word "got" because, and these are her words, btw, 'you don't got anything. You recieve something or you may have it, but you don't got anything.' She is a very literal person and her words are very carefully

Alianoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1130108250646966122005-10-23T15:04:00.000-07:002005-10-31T14:48:31.360-08:00

If there is one thing I have learned from my life this last year it's how to play the game of chess. It's stragety game, one that takes sometime to play out in your mind so you make the right move. Sometimes you lose pieces, sometimes you sacrifice pieces to win a better situation. Chess is often times a game you have to play out in it entirity in your head from just one move. Such is the way

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1132084003870838222005-10-23T10:39:00.000-07:002005-11-15T11:46:43.956-08:00

Now when you involve my uncle action is taken. He thinks with a level head and with a clear mind and when he speaks people listen. His goal was to make me happy and to help relieve my pain. He saw my tears, my frustration and he couldn't take anymore. He starts to make phone calls... the first one was to Barry. The second was to Pam. Then the third was to me.His concern... if Ariel would

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1132073737740663892005-10-23T07:04:00.000-07:002005-11-15T08:55:37.780-08:00

You wouldn't think this should be such a big issue... but it is.I was sitting here the day after cleaning my house with my cousins help taking a break from finishing up what wasn't done the day before. Folding clothes, putting them away, etc... etc... etc... The phone rings. It was Aaron out at his grandma's house wanting to say 'hi mom, I miss you.' I hear Adam in the background playing and

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1130039226660792242005-10-22T20:23:00.000-07:002005-10-22T20:47:06.686-07:00

I had to laugh at this...I woke up fairly early this morning. Chatted online with a few friends after I took a shower, and feed the horses. Went shopping for cleaning supplies, picked up my cousin to help me clean the house. Now this isn't a small house, 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, livingroom, dining room and a kitchen. With help it still wasn't any easy task. We didn't clean the ceiling fans and

Alianoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1132077823643558892005-10-22T09:48:00.000-07:002005-11-15T10:05:10.033-08:00

Now there are days when I raise my voice and am firm. Very few times in my life have I ever yelled out of anger. When my husband got home... I yelled. I told him that I was tired of being treated like crap by his family and mine (meaning him and Ariel). I was tired of him not supporting me as his wife. And I wanted my daughter back.The last thing he kind of swirmed about and I could see that

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1132076850037794232005-10-22T08:58:00.000-07:002005-11-15T10:06:45.890-08:00

According to the website:http://www.selfknowledge.com/25368.htmDespair means...Dictionary Information: Definition DespairThesaurus: DespairDescription and Meaning: Despair Despair (De*spair") (?), v. i.[imp. & p. p. Despaired (?); p. pr. & vb. n. Despairing.][OE. despeiren, dispeiren, OF. desperer, fr. L. desperare; de- + sperare to hope; akin to spes hope, and perh. to spatium space, E. space

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1129944982888747702005-10-21T15:59:00.000-07:002005-10-21T18:36:22.893-07:00

My mother-in-law... YUCK!!! Need i say more? Seriously, do I need to say more? The woman doesn't have a clue on her place in my marriage to her son. The competition for my husband's attention has annoyed me considerable over the years but as of late I find it distrubing. I have learned to keep my comments to myself, for it doesn't do me any good. But the more the woman talks to my husband

Alianoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1128525280705449782005-10-05T08:43:00.000-07:002005-10-05T09:45:00.123-07:00

This may seem petty but it struck me odd... and of course it could all be just me too.Ariel started her new school on Monday and didn't call me. So on Tuesday, yesterday I called her. But she wasn't home so I left a message on a machine for her to give me a call and let me know how things went. When my husband came home, some 30 minutes later he mentions that he wanted to call Ariel and

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1128462801564084322005-10-04T12:12:00.000-07:002005-10-19T10:40:42.910-07:00

It's very trying for me and I have mixed emotions about Ariel going out to Michigan. I don't like how I'm being treated and my concerns and feelings are being ignored when it comes to her going out there. So I voiced my thoughts to my aunt, telling her about how it played out with Ariel's birth certificate and the school records. She brought up an interesting point. "Could they be trying to

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1128448541099431872005-10-04T08:56:00.000-07:002005-10-04T10:55:41.126-07:00

The decision of my mother in law was to ship my daughter out to Michigan to live with my husband's sister. Okay... the thought is a good one, Ariel would learn that life has rules no matter where you go. But after having to deal with the mother-in-law I started to wonder what their intentions exactly were?So, I asked... why is [Barry's sister] taking Ariel? REPLY: Because she knows how to

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1128441009073209522005-10-04T08:40:00.000-07:002005-10-04T08:50:09.090-07:00

As I look back over the situation going on in my life dealing with my husband I have to ask the question, why not me? Yeah you read right, 'why not me?' instead of 'why me?'. I accept that bad things happen to people, it's what makes us stronger as individuals, so I'll never ask that question. My question stems from why didn't my husband talk to me and instead confided in our daughter. Why

Alianoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1128368622116998652005-10-03T12:27:00.000-07:002005-10-03T12:43:42.126-07:00

Okay... I have to write this down. I keep hashing it out in my mind and with friends who I have talked to over the years.Oct 2002 Ariel, the daughter, does an endurance race. I want to join her the following year so I make plans to get in shape to do so.Sept 2003 I found out I was pregnant with Adam. May 2004 Adam is born.July 2004 Went to DisneylandAug-Sept 2004 Started

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1128366911766133012005-10-03T12:02:00.000-07:002005-10-03T12:15:11.776-07:00

Have you ever wondered while going through a difficult time in life if you were the only one? How about the feeling that no one understands you and no one is helping you? Maybe they're working against you? Seems kind of childish to me, almost like high school stuff, right? Lately, I've had these feelings of lonliness and despair. Often times thinking that I'm going crazy trying to sort out

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1126733680185410292005-09-14T14:32:00.000-07:002005-10-03T12:21:14.493-07:00

As I look back over these last few weeks and year I have decided I have every right to be angry. Why not? A lie was said and believed and never validated. Sounds simply, right? According to my husband I need to move on with life and get over it. I think not. If this happened last year or the year before and we worked through it I could understand getting over it. But this just happened (well

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1126720671379887822005-09-14T09:59:00.000-07:002005-09-14T14:30:42.986-07:00

This started nearly a year ago with a reading forum I joined. I was looking for a new book to read and joined an awesome forum where the people were friendly and came from all walks of life. Met a man on there who is a martial arts instructor. Now during one of the day's topics he revealed that he has aspergers, a condition I have often thought my son has. He talked on the forum of how he was

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1125588535373978312005-09-01T07:44:00.000-07:002005-09-02T07:36:13.416-07:00

With one phone call my life seem to come to an understanding. I realized why I was being pushed away by my family and completely understood. As I sat there listening to my aunt having to answer questions concerning my character, I knew why my husband hated me so much and I wondered what I could do to help mend the marriage. My aunt has asked me if I had an affair on my husband and was

Alianoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1124771634845588902005-08-22T20:15:00.000-07:002005-08-22T21:43:30.066-07:00

I wonder why I talk sometimes... I'm not really a soft spoken person, I know how to voice my opinion so I can be heard and understood. I've done it thousands of times before. So I've drawn the conclusion that if someone isn't listening to me it's because they choose not to. They, for what ever reason, believe that my words are not important enough to consider or to be heard. The one person I

Alianoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1124742723508875392005-08-22T13:21:00.000-07:002005-08-22T13:32:03.516-07:00

I don't care for my husband, so to keep peace between us I have asked him to take the kids on the weekend to his mother's house. Last week he took all three kids. When he came back he didn't talk to me for two days. Okay... I have to admit it was nice. When he did start talking to me he told me he wouldn't take all three kids again. So when this weekend came he didn't want to go at all.

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1124654605532075762005-08-21T12:54:00.000-07:002005-08-21T13:23:45.376-07:00

I think it's rude and disrespectful to interrupt someone when they're talking. Several important people in my life do this on a continual basis... The last time it happen I cried. It hurt. Not only are they showing me that their not listening to me and how I feel but their thoughts are above mine. My husband is notorious for this and I asked him why? He told me... Because if I let you talk

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1119753873396504092005-06-25T18:51:00.000-07:002005-06-25T19:44:33.400-07:00

Had a situation the other day that made my toes curl...I have a lot of things going on in my life at the moment and haven't share anything with anyone, especially with close friends, for many reasons... but the other day my best friend came over... and we're chatting... casually... the phone rings... I answer... it's the sister in law... I chat for a few minutes... and hang up. I mentioned that

Alianoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13936770.post-1119654552262617372005-06-24T16:02:00.000-07:002005-06-24T16:09:12.266-07:00

why life seems to go in slow speed, or often times reverse? But when we relect back, it appears to have passed by quickly... Why is that?

Alianoreply@blogger.com5